zippy revision 49464
1A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!! 2% 3A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit! 4% 5A shapely CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL is FIDGETING inside my costume.. 6% 7A wide-eyed, innocent UNICORN, poised delicately in a MEADOW filled 8with LILACS, LOLLIPOPS & small CHILDREN at the HUSH of twilight?? 9% 10Actually, what I'd like is a little toy spaceship!! 11% 12All I can think of is a platter of organic PRUNE CRISPS being trampled 13by an army of swarthy, Italian LOUNGE SINGERS ... 14% 15All of a sudden, I want to THROW OVER my promising ACTING CAREER, grow 16a LONG BLACK BEARD and wear a BASEBALL HAT!! ... Although I don't know 17WHY!! 18% 19All of life is a blur of Republicans and meat! 20% 21All right, you degenerates! I want this place evacuated in 20 seconds! 22% 23All this time I've been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE a HOUSECAT! 24% 25Alright, you!! Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!! 26% 27Am I accompanied by a PARENT or GUARDIAN? 28% 29Am I elected yet? 30% 31Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet? 32% 33Am I SHOPLIFTING? 34% 35America!! I saw it all!! Vomiting! Waving! JERRY FALWELLING into 36your void tube of UHF oblivion!! SAFEWAY of the mind ... 37% 38An air of FRENCH FRIES permeates my nostrils!! 39% 40An INK-LING? Sure -- TAKE one!! Did you BUY any COMMUNIST UNIFORMS?? 41% 42An Italian is COMBING his hair in suburban DES MOINES! 43% 44And furthermore, my bowling average is unimpeachable!!! 45% 46ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like RICARDO 47MONTALBAN'S HAIR! 48% 49Are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER? 50% 51Are we live or on tape? 52% 53Are we on STRIKE yet? 54% 55Are we THERE yet? 56% 57Are we THERE yet? My MIND is a SUBMARINE!! 58% 59Are you mentally here at Pizza Hut?? 60% 61Are you selling NYLON OIL WELLS?? If so, we can use TWO DOZEN!! 62% 63Are you still an ALCOHOLIC? 64% 65As President I have to go vacuum my coin collection! 66% 67Awright, which one of you hid my PENIS ENVY? 68% 69BARBARA STANWYCK makes me nervous!! 70% 71Barbie says, Take quaaludes in gin and go to a disco right away! 72But Ken says, WOO-WOO!! No credit at "Mr. Liquor"!! 73% 74BARRY ... That was the most HEART-WARMING rendition of "I DID IT MY 75WAY" I've ever heard!! 76% 77Being a BALD HERO is almost as FESTIVE as a TATTOOED KNOCKWURST. 78% 79BELA LUGOSI is my co-pilot ... 80% 81BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI- 82% 83... bleakness ... desolation ... plastic forks ... 84% 85Bo Derek ruined my life! 86% 87Boy, am I glad it's only 1971... 88% 89Boys, you have ALL been selected to LEAVE th' PLANET in 15 minutes!! 90% 91But they went to MARS around 1953!! 92% 93But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade? 94% 95Can I have an IMPULSE ITEM instead? 96% 97Can you MAIL a BEAN CAKE? 98% 99Catsup and Mustard all over the place! It's the Human Hamburger! 100% 101CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH! 102% 103Civilization is fun! Anyway, it keeps me busy!! 104% 105Clear the laundromat!! This whirl-o-matic just had a nuclear meltdown!! 106% 107Concentrate on th'cute, li'l CARTOON GUYS! Remember the SERIAL 108NUMBERS!! Follow the WHIPPLE AVE. EXIT!! Have a FREE PEPSI!! Turn 109LEFT at th'HOLIDAY INN!! JOIN the CREDIT WORLD!! MAKE me an OFFER!!! 110% 111CONGRATULATIONS! Now should I make thinly veiled comments about 112DIGNITY, self-esteem and finding TRUE FUN in your RIGHT VENTRICLE?? 113% 114Content: 80% POLYESTER, 20% DACRONi ... The waitress's UNIFORM sheds 115TARTAR SAUCE like an 8" by 10" GLOSSY ... 116% 117Could I have a drug overdose? 118% 119Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations in 120a MALIBU HOT TUB? 121% 122Did I do an INCORRECT THING?? 123% 124Did I say I was a sardine? Or a bus??? 125% 126Did I SELL OUT yet?? 127% 128Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA? 129% 130Did you move a lot of KOREAN STEAK KNIVES this trip, Dingy? 131% 132DIDI ... is that a MARTIAN name, or, are we in ISRAEL? 133% 134Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo? 135% 136Disco oil bussing will create a throbbing naugahide pipeline running 137straight to the tropics from the rug producing regions and devalue the 138dollar! 139% 140Do I have a lifestyle yet? 141% 142Do you guys know we just passed thru a BLACK HOLE in space? 143% 144Do you have exactly what I want in a plaid poindexter bar bat?? 145% 146Do you like "TENDER VITTLES"? 147% 148Do you think the "Monkees" should get gas on odd or even days? 149% 150Does someone from PEORIA have a SHORTER ATTENTION span than me? 151% 152does your DRESSING ROOM have enough ASPARAGUS? 153% 154DON'T go!! I'm not HOWARD COSELL!! I know POLISH JOKES ... WAIT!! 155Don't go!! I AM Howard Cosell! ... And I DON'T know Polish jokes!! 156% 157Don't hit me!! I'm in the Twilight Zone!!! 158% 159Don't SANFORIZE me!! 160% 161Don't worry, nobody really LISTENS to lectures in MOSCOW, either! ... 162FRENCH, HISTORY, ADVANCED CALCULUS, COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, BLACK 163STUDIES, SOCIOBIOLOGY! ... Are there any QUESTIONS?? 164% 165Edwin Meese made me wear CORDOVANS!! 166% 167Eisenhower!! Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!! 168% 169Either CONFESS now or we go to "PEOPLE'S COURT"!! 170% 171Everybody gets free BORSCHT! 172% 173Everybody is going somewhere!! It's probably a garage sale or a 174disaster Movie!! 175% 176Everywhere I look I see NEGATIVITY and ASPHALT ... 177% 178Excuse me, but didn't I tell you there's NO HOPE for the survival of 179OFFSET PRINTING? 180% 181FEELINGS are cascading over me!!! 182% 183Finally, Zippy drives his 1958 RAMBLER METROPOLITAN into the faculty 184dining room. 185% 186First, I'm going to give you all the ANSWERS to today's test ... So 187just plug in your SONY WALKMANS and relax!! 188% 189FOOLED you! Absorb EGO SHATTERING impulse rays, polyester poltroon!! 190% 191for ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING!! 192% 193Four thousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are romping in my 194gothic solarium!! 195% 196FROZEN ENTREES may be flung by members of opposing SWANSON SECTS ... 197% 198FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!! 199% 200Gee, I feel kind of LIGHT in the head now, knowing I can't make my 201satellite dish PAYMENTS! 202% 203Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU ... 204% 205Give them RADAR-GUIDED SKEE-BALL LANES and VELVEETA BURRITOS!! 206% 207Go on, EMOTE! I was RAISED on thought balloons!! 208% 209GOOD-NIGHT, everybody ... Now I have to go administer FIRST-AID to my 210pet LEISURE SUIT!! 211% 212HAIR TONICS, please!! 213% 214Half a mind is a terrible thing to waste! 215% 216Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard -- I'm living for 217today! 218% 219Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES?? 220% 221Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES?? ... Now, it's 222time to "HAVE A NAGEELA"!! 223% 224... he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE. 225% 226He is the MELBA-BEING ... the ANGEL CAKE ... XEROX him ... XEROX him -- 227% 228He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE inside me 229like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER! Or maybe he'd like to 230PSYCHOLIGICALLY TERRORISE ME until I have no objection to a RIGHT-WING 231MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!! I guess I should call AL PACINO! 232% 233HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death! 234% 235HELLO, everybody, I'm a HUMAN!! 236% 237Hello, GORRY-O!! I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!! 238% 239Hello. I know the divorce rate among unmarried Catholic Alaskan 240females!! 241% 242Hello. Just walk along and try NOT to think about your INTESTINES 243being almost FORTY YARDS LONG!! 244% 245Hello... IRON CURTAIN? Send over a SAUSAGE PIZZA! World War III? No 246thanks! 247% 248Hello? Enema Bondage? I'm calling because I want to be happy, I 249guess ... 250% 251Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying my urine sample 252bottles ... 253% 254Here I am in 53 B.C. and all I want is a dill pickle!! 255% 256Here I am in the POSTERIOR OLFACTORY LOBULE but I don't see CARL SAGAN 257anywhere!! 258% 259Here we are in America ... when do we collect unemployment? 260% 261Hey, wait a minute!! I want a divorce!! ... you're not Clint Eastwood!! 262% 263Hey, waiter! I want a NEW SHIRT and a PONY TAIL with lemon sauce! 264% 265Hiccuping & trembling into the WASTE DUMPS of New Jersey like some 266drunken CABBAGE PATCH DOLL, coughing in line at FIORUCCI'S!! 267% 268Hmmm ... a CRIPPLED ACCOUNTANT with a FALAFEL sandwich is HIT by a 269TROLLEY-CAR ... 270% 271Hmmm ... A hash-singer and a cross-eyed guy were SLEEPING on a deserted 272island, when ... 273% 274Hmmm ... a PINHEAD, during an EARTHQUAKE, encounters an ALL-MIDGET 275FIDDLE ORCHESTRA ... ha ... ha ... 276% 277Hmmm ... an arrogant bouquet with a subtle suggestion of POLYVINYL 278CHLORIDE ... 279% 280Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS ... 281% 282HOORAY, Ronald!! Now YOU can marry LINDA RONSTADT too!! 283% 284How do I get HOME? 285% 286How do you explain Wayne Newton's POWER over millions? It's th' 287MOUSTACHE ... Have you ever noticed th' way it radiates SINCERITY, 288HONESTY & WARMTH? It's a MOUSTACHE you want to take HOME and introduce 289to NANCY SINATRA! 290% 291How many returned bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing PENCIL 292SHARPENERS right NOW?? 293% 294How's it going in those MODULAR LOVE UNITS?? 295% 296How's the wife? Is she at home enjoying capitalism? 297% 298hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub. 299% 300HUGH BEAUMONT died in 1982!! 301% 302HUMAN REPLICAS are inserted into VATS of NUTRITIONAL YEAST ... 303% 304I always have fun because I'm out of my mind!!! 305% 306I am a jelly donut. I am a jelly donut. 307% 308I am a traffic light, and Alan Ginzberg kidnapped my laundry in 1927! 309% 310I am covered with pure vegetable oil and I am writing a best seller! 311% 312I am deeply CONCERNED and I want something GOOD for BREAKFAST! 313% 314I am having FUN... I wonder if it's NET FUN or GROSS FUN? 315% 316I am NOT a nut.... 317% 318I appoint you ambassador to Fantasy Island!!! 319% 320I brought my BOWLING BALL -- and some DRUGS!! 321% 322I can't decide which WRONG TURN to make first!! 323% 324I can't decide which WRONG TURN to make first!! I wonder if BOB 325GUCCIONE has these problems! 326% 327I can't think about that. It doesn't go with HEDGES in the shape of 328LITTLE LULU -- or ROBOTS making BRICKS ... 329% 330I demand IMPUNITY! 331% 332I didn't order any WOO-WOO ... Maybe a YUBBA ... But no WOO-WOO! 333% 334I don't believe there really IS a GAS SHORTAGE ... I think it's all 335just a BIG HOAX on the part of the plastic sign salesmen -- to sell 336more numbers!! 337% 338... I don't know why but, suddenly, I want to discuss declining I.Q. 339LEVELS with a blue ribbon SENATE SUB-COMMITTEE! 340% 341I don't know WHY I said that ... I think it came from the FILLINGS in 342my read molars ... 343% 344... I don't like FRANK SINATRA or his CHILDREN. 345% 346I don't understand the HUMOUR of the THREE STOOGES!! 347% 348I feel ... JUGULAR ... 349% 350I feel better about world problems now! 351% 352I feel like a wet parking meter on Darvon! 353% 354I feel like I am sharing a ``CORN-DOG'' with NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV ... 355% 356I feel like I'm in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!! 357% 358I feel partially hydrogenated! 359% 360I fill MY industrial waste containers with old copies of the 361"WATCHTOWER" and then add HAWAIIAN PUNCH to the top ... They look NICE 362in the yard ... 363% 364I guess it was all a DREAM ... or an episode of HAWAII FIVE-O ... 365% 366I guess you guys got BIG MUSCLES from doing too much STUDYING! 367% 368I had a lease on an OEDIPUS COMPLEX back in '81 ... 369% 370I had pancake makeup for brunch! 371% 372I have a TINY BOWL in my HEAD 373% 374I have a very good DENTAL PLAN. Thank you. 375% 376I have a VISION! It's a RANCID double-FISHWICH on an ENRICHED BUN!! 377% 378I have accepted Provolone into my life! 379% 380I have many CHARTS and DIAGRAMS.. 381% 382... I have read the INSTRUCTIONS ... 383% 384-- I have seen the FUN -- 385% 386I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket ... 387% 388I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket ... I have read the 389INSTRUCTIONS ... 390% 391I have the power to HALT PRODUCTION on all TEENAGE SEX COMEDIES!! 392% 393I HAVE to buy a new "DODGE MISER" and two dozen JORDACHE JEANS because 394my viewscreen is "USER-FRIENDLY"!! 395% 396I haven't been married in over six years, but we had sexual counseling 397every day from Oral Roberts!! 398% 399I hope I bought the right relish ... zzzzzzzzz ... 400% 401I hope something GOOD came in the mail today so I have a REASON to 402live!! 403% 404I hope the ``Eurythmics'' practice birth control ... 405% 406I hope you millionaires are having fun! I just invested half your life 407savings in yeast!! 408% 409I invented skydiving in 1989! 410% 411I joined scientology at a garage sale!! 412% 413I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!! 414% 415I just got my PRINCE bumper sticker ... But now I can't remember WHO he 416is ... 417% 418I just had a NOSE JOB!! 419% 420I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON! 421% 422I just heard the SEVENTIES were over!! And I was just getting in touch 423with my LEISURE SUIT!! 424% 425I just remembered something about a TOAD! 426% 427I KAISER ROLL?! What good is a Kaiser Roll without a little COLE SLAW 428on the SIDE? 429% 430I Know A Joke 431% 432I know how to do SPECIAL EFFECTS!! 433% 434I know th'MAMBO!! I have a TWO-TONE CHEMISTRY SET!! 435% 436I know things about TROY DONAHUE that can't even be PRINTED!! 437% 438I left my WALLET in the BATHROOM!! 439% 440I like the way ONLY their mouths move ... They look like DYING OYSTERS 441% 442I like your SNOOPY POSTER!! 443% 444-- I love KATRINKA because she drives a PONTIAC. We're going away 445now. I fed the cat. 446% 447I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT" in 4481965!! 449% 450I need to discuss BUY-BACK PROVISIONS with at least six studio 451SLEAZEBALLS!! 452% 453I once decorated my apartment entirely in ten foot salad forks!! 454% 455I own seven-eighths of all the artists in downtown Burbank! 456% 457I put aside my copy of "BOWLING WORLD" and think about GUN CONTROL 458legislation.. 459% 460I represent a sardine!! 461% 462I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers! 463% 464... I see TOILET SEATS ... 465% 466I selected E5 ... but I didn't hear "Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs"! 467% 468I smell a RANCID CORN DOG! 469% 470I smell like a wet reducing clinic on Columbus Day! 471% 472I think I am an overnight sensation right now!! 473% 474... I think I'd better go back to my DESK and toy with a few common 475MISAPPREHENSIONS ... 476% 477I think I'll KILL myself by leaping out of this 14th STORY WINDOW while 478reading ERICA JONG'S poetry!! 479% 480I think my career is ruined! 481% 482I used to be a FUNDAMENTALIST, but then I heard about the HIGH 483RADIATION LEVELS and bought an ENCYCLOPEDIA!! 484% 485... I want a COLOR T.V. and a VIBRATING BED!!! 486% 487I want a VEGETARIAN BURRITO to go ... with EXTRA MSG!! 488% 489I want a WESSON OIL lease!! 490% 491I want another RE-WRITE on my CAESAR SALAD!! 492% 493I want EARS! I want two ROUND BLACK EARS to make me feel warm 'n 494secure!! 495% 496... I want FORTY-TWO TRYNEL FLOATATION SYSTEMS installed within 497SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!! 498% 499I want the presidency so bad I can already taste the hors d'oeuvres. 500% 501I want to dress you up as TALLULAH BANKHEAD and cover you with VASELINE 502and WHEAT THINS ... 503% 504I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen Bomb!! 505% 506I want to perform cranial activities with Tuesday Weld!! 507% 508... I want to perform cranial activities with Tuesday Weld!! 509% 510I want to read my new poem about pork brains and outer space ... 511% 512I want to so HAPPY, the VEINS in my neck STAND OUT!! 513% 514I want you to MEMORIZE the collected poems of EDNA ST VINCENT MILLAY 515... BACKWARDS!! 516% 517I want you to organize my PASTRY trays ... my TEA-TINS are gleaming in 518formation like a ROW of DRUM MAJORETTES -- please don't be FURIOUS with 519me -- 520% 521I was born in a Hostess Cupcake factory before the sexual revolution! 522% 523I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus! 524% 525I wish I was a sex-starved manicurist found dead in the Bronx!! 526% 527I wish I was on a Cincinnati street corner holding a clean dog! 528% 529I wonder if BOB GUCCIONE has these problems! 530% 531I wonder if I could ever get started in the credit world? 532% 533I wonder if I ought to tell them about my PREVIOUS LIFE as a COMPLETE 534STRANGER? 535% 536I wonder if I should put myself in ESCROW!! 537% 538I wonder if there's anything GOOD on tonight? 539% 540I would like to urinate in an OVULAR, porcelain pool -- 541% 542I'd like MY data-base JULIENNED and stir-fried! 543% 544I'd like some JUNK FOOD ... and then I want to be ALONE -- 545% 546I'll eat ANYTHING that's BRIGHT BLUE!! 547% 548I'll show you MY telex number if you show me YOURS ... 549% 550I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany 551% 552I'm a GENIUS! I want to dispute sentence structure with SUSAN 553SONTAG!! 554% 555I'm a nuclear submarine under the polar ice cap and I need a Kleenex! 556% 557I'm also against BODY-SURFING!! 558% 559I'm also pre-POURED pre-MEDITATED and pre-RAPHAELITE!! 560% 561I'm ANN LANDERS!! I can SHOPLIFT!! 562% 563I'm changing the CHANNEL ... But all I get is commercials for "RONCO 564MIRACLE BAMBOO STEAMERS"! 565% 566I'm continually AMAZED at th'breathtaking effects of WIND EROSION!! 567% 568I'm definitely not in Omaha! 569% 570I'm DESPONDENT ... I hope there's something DEEP-FRIED under this 571miniature DOMED STADIUM ... 572% 573I'm dressing up in an ill-fitting IVY-LEAGUE SUIT!! Too late... 574% 575I'm EMOTIONAL now because I have MERCHANDISING CLOUT!! 576% 577I'm encased in the lining of a pure pork sausage!! 578% 579I'm GLAD I remembered to XEROX all my UNDERSHIRTS!! 580% 581I'm gliding over a NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP near ATLANTA, Georgia!! 582% 583I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!! 584% 585I'm having a MID-WEEK CRISIS! 586% 587I'm having a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE ... and I don't take any DRUGS 588% 589I'm having a tax-deductible experience! I need an energy crunch!! 590% 591I'm having an emotional outburst!! 592% 593I'm having an EMOTIONAL OUTBURST!! But, uh, WHY is there a WAFFLE in 594my PAJAMA POCKET?? 595% 596I'm having BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS about the INSIPID WIVES of smug and 597wealthy CORPORATE LAWYERS ... 598% 599I'm having fun HITCHHIKING to CINCINNATI or FAR ROCKAWAY!! 600% 601... I'm IMAGINING a sensuous GIRAFFE, CAVORTING in the BACK ROOM 602of a KOSHER DELI -- 603% 604I'm in direct contact with many advanced fun CONCEPTS. 605% 606I'm into SOFTWARE! 607% 608I'm meditating on the FORMALDEHYDE and the ASBESTOS leaking into my 609PERSONAL SPACE!! 610% 611I'm mentally OVERDRAWN! What's that SIGNPOST up ahead? Where's ROD 612STERLING when you really need him? 613% 614I'm not an Iranian!! I voted for Dianne Feinstein!! 615% 616I'm not available for comment.. 617% 618I'm pretending I'm pulling in a TROUT! Am I doing it correctly?? 619% 620I'm pretending that we're all watching PHIL SILVERS instead of RICARDO 621MONTALBAN! 622% 623I'm QUIETLY reading the latest issue of "BOWLING WORLD" while my wife 624and two children stand QUIETLY BY ... 625% 626I'm rated PG-34!! 627% 628I'm receiving a coded message from EUBIE BLAKE!! 629% 630I'm RELIGIOUS!! I love a man with a HAIRPIECE!! Equip me with 631MISSILES!! 632% 633I'm reporting for duty as a modern person. I want to do the Latin 634Hustle now! 635% 636I'm shaving!! I'M SHAVING!! 637% 638I'm sitting on my SPEED QUEEN ... To me, it's ENJOYABLE ... I'm WARM 639... I'm VIBRATORY ... 640% 641I'm thinking about DIGITAL READ-OUT systems and computer-generated 642IMAGE FORMATIONS ... 643% 644I'm totally DESPONDENT over the LIBYAN situation and the price of 645CHICKEN ... 646% 647I'm using my X-RAY VISION to obtain a rare glimpse of the INNER 648WORKINGS of this POTATO!! 649% 650I'm wearing PAMPERS!! 651% 652I'm wet! I'm wild! 653% 654I'm young ... I'm HEALTHY ... I can HIKE THRU CAPT GROGAN'S LUMBAR 655REGIONS! 656% 657I'm ZIPPY the PINHEAD and I'm totally committed to the festive mode. 658% 659I've got a COUSIN who works in the GARMENT DISTRICT ... 660% 661I've got an IDEA!! Why don't I STARE at you so HARD, you forget your 662SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!! 663% 664I've read SEVEN MILLION books!! 665% 666... ich bin in einem dusenjet ins jahr 53 vor chr ... ich lande im 667antiken Rom ... einige gladiatoren spielen scrabble ... ich rieche 668PIZZA ... 669% 670If a person is FAMOUS in this country, they have to go on the ROAD for 671MONTHS at a time and have their name misspelled on the SIDE of a 672GREYHOUND SCENICRUISER!! 673% 674If elected, Zippy pledges to each and every American a 55-year-old 675houseboy ... 676% 677If I am elected no one will ever have to do their laundry again! 678% 679If I am elected, the concrete barriers around the WHITE HOUSE will be 680replaced by tasteful foam replicas of ANN MARGARET! 681% 682If I felt any more SOPHISTICATED I would DIE of EMBARRASSMENT! 683% 684If I had a Q-TIP, I could prevent th' collapse of NEGOTIATIONS!! 685% 686... If I had heart failure right now, I couldn't be a more fortunate 687man!! 688% 689If I pull this SWITCH I'll be RITA HAYWORTH!! Or a SCIENTOLOGIST! 690% 691if it GLISTENS, gobble it!! 692% 693If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun! 694% 695If Robert Di Niro assassinates Walter Slezak, will Jodie Foster marry 696Bonzo?? 697% 698In 1962, you could buy a pair of SHARKSKIN SLACKS, with a "Continental 699Belt," for $10.99!! 700% 701In Newark the laundromats are open 24 hours a day! 702% 703INSIDE, I have the same personality disorder as LUCY RICARDO!! 704% 705Inside, I'm already SOBBING! 706% 707Is a tattoo real, like a curb or a battleship? Or are we suffering in 708Safeway? 709% 710Is he the MAGIC INCA carrying a FROG on his shoulders?? Is the FROG 711his GUIDELIGHT?? It is curious that a DOG runs already on the 712ESCALATOR ... 713% 714Is it 1974? What's for SUPPER? Can I spend my COLLEGE FUND in one 715wild afternoon?? 716% 717Is it clean in other dimensions? 718% 719Is it NOUVELLE CUISINE when 3 olives are struggling with a scallop in a 720plate of SAUCE MORNAY? 721% 722Is something VIOLENT going to happen to a GARBAGE CAN? 723% 724Is this an out-take from the "BRADY BUNCH"? 725% 726Is this going to involve RAW human ecstasy? 727% 728Is this TERMINAL fun? 729% 730Is this the line for the latest whimsical YUGOSLAVIAN drama which also 731makes you want to CRY and reconsider the VIETNAM WAR? 732% 733Isn't this my STOP?! 734% 735It don't mean a THING if you ain't got that SWING!! 736% 737It was a JOKE!! Get it?? I was receiving messages from DAVID 738LETTERMAN!! YOW!! 739% 740It's a lot of fun being alive ... I wonder if my bed is made?!? 741% 742It's NO USE ... I've gone to "CLUB MED"!! 743% 744It's OBVIOUS ... The FURS never reached ISTANBUL ... You were an EXTRA 745in the REMAKE of "TOPKAPI" ... Go home to your WIFE ... She's making 746FRENCH TOAST! 747% 748It's OKAY -- I'm an INTELLECTUAL, too. 749% 750It's the RINSE CYCLE!! They've ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!! 751% 752JAPAN is a WONDERFUL planet -- I wonder if we'll ever reach their level 753of COMPARATIVE SHOPPING ... 754% 755Jesuit priests are DATING CAREER DIPLOMATS!! 756% 757Jesus is my POSTMASTER GENERAL ... 758% 759Kids, don't gross me off ... "Adventures with MENTAL HYGIENE" can be 760carried too FAR! 761% 762Kids, the seven basic food groups are GUM, PUFF PASTRY, PIZZA, 763PESTICIDES, ANTIBIOTICS, NUTRA-SWEET and MILK DUDS!! 764% 765Laundry is the fifth dimension!! ... um ... um ... th' washing machine 766is a black hole and the pink socks are bus drivers who just fell in!! 767% 768LBJ, LBJ, how many JOKES did you tell today??! 769% 770Leona, I want to CONFESS things to you ... I want to WRAP you in a 771SCARLET ROBE trimmed with POLYVINYL CHLORIDE ... I want to EMPTY your 772ASHTRAYS ... 773% 774Let me do my TRIBUTE to FISHNET STOCKINGS ... 775% 776Let's all show human CONCERN for REVERAND MOON's legal difficulties!! 777% 778Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories! 779% 780Life is a POPULARITY CONTEST! I'm REFRESHINGLY CANDID!! 781% 782Like I always say -- nothing can beat the BRATWURST here in DUSSELDORF!! 783% 784Loni Anderson's hair should be LEGALIZED!! 785% 786Look DEEP into the OPENINGS!! Do you see any ELVES or EDSELS ... or a 787HIGHBALL?? ... 788% 789Look into my eyes and try to forget that you have a Macy's charge 790card! 791% 792Look! A ladder! Maybe it leads to heaven, or a sandwich! 793% 794LOOK!! Sullen American teens wearing MADRAS shorts and "Flock of 795Seagulls" HAIRCUTS! 796% 797Make me look like LINDA RONSTADT again!! 798% 799Mary Tyler Moore's SEVENTH HUSBAND is wearing my DACRON TANK TOP in a 800cheap hotel in HONOLULU! 801% 802Maybe we could paint GOLDIE HAWN a rich PRUSSIAN BLUE -- 803% 804MERYL STREEP is my obstetrician! 805% 806MMM-MM!! So THIS is BIO-NEBULATION! 807% 808Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!! A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed with the 809shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!! ... Oh BOY!! I'm about to swallow a 810TORN-OFF section of a COW'S LEFT LEG soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and 811SUGAR!! ... Let's see ... Next, I'll have the GROUND-UP flesh of CUTE, 812BABY LAMBS fried in the MELTED, FATTY TISSUES from a warm-blooded 813animal someone once PETTED!! ... YUM!! That was GOOD!! For DESSERT, 814I'll have a TOFU BURGER with BEAN SPROUTS on a stone-ground, WHOLE 815WHEAT BUN!! 816% 817Mr and Mrs PED, can I borrow 26.7% of the RAYON TEXTILE production of 818the INDONESIAN archipelago? 819% 820My Aunt MAUREEN was a military advisor to IKE & TINA TURNER!! 821% 822My BIOLOGICAL ALARM CLOCK just went off ... It has noiseless DOZE 823FUNCTION and full kitchen!! 824% 825My CODE of ETHICS is vacationing at famed SCHROON LAKE in upstate New 826York!! 827% 828My EARS are GONE!! 829% 830My face is new, my license is expired, and I'm under a doctor's 831care!!!! 832% 833My haircut is totally traditional! 834% 835MY income is ALL disposable! 836% 837My LESLIE GORE record is BROKEN ... 838% 839My life is a patio of fun! 840% 841My mind is a potato field ... 842% 843My mind is making ashtrays in Dayton ... 844% 845My nose feels like a bad Ronald Reagan movie ... 846% 847my NOSE is NUMB! 848% 849... My pants just went on a wild rampage through a Long Island Bowling 850Alley!! 851% 852My pants just went to high school in the Carlsbad Caverns!!! 853% 854My polyvinyl cowboy wallet was made in Hong Kong by Montgomery Clift! 855% 856My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C. And I can prove it too!! 857% 858My vaseline is RUNNING... 859% 860NANCY!! Why is everything RED?! 861% 862NATHAN ... your PARENTS were in a CARCRASH!! They're VOIDED -- They 863COLLAPSED They had no CHAINSAWS ... They had no MONEY MACHINES ... They 864did PILLS in SKIMPY GRASS SKIRTS ... Nathan, I EMULATED them ... but 865they were OFF-KEY ... 866% 867NEWARK has been REZONED!! DES MOINES has been REZONED!! 868% 869Nipples, dimples, knuckles, NICKLES, wrinkles, pimples!! 870% 871Not SENSUOUS ... only "FROLICSOME" ... and in need of DENTAL WORK ... 872in PAIN!!! 873% 874Now I am depressed ... 875% 876Now I think I just reached the state of HYPERTENSION that comes JUST 877BEFORE you see the TOTAL at the SAFEWAY CHECKOUT COUNTER! 878% 879Now I understand the meaning of "THE MOD SQUAD"! 880% 881Now I'm being INVOLUNTARILY shuffled closer to the CLAM DIP with the 882BROKEN PLASTIC FORKS in it!! 883% 884Now I'm concentrating on a specific tank battle toward the end of World 885War II! 886% 887Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beautiful, round wives of 888HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS and being approached 889by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT ... 890% 891Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS ... 892% 893Now my EMOTIONAL RESOURCES are heavily committed to 23% of the SMELTING 894and REFINING industry of the state of NEVADA!! 895% 896Now that I have my "APPLE", I comprehend COST ACCOUNTING!! 897% 898... Now, it's time to "HAVE A NAGEELA"!! 899% 900Now, let's SEND OUT for QUICHE!! 901% 902Of course, you UNDERSTAND about the PLAIDS in the SPIN CYCLE -- 903% 904Oh my GOD -- the SUN just fell into YANKEE STADIUM!! 905% 906Oh, I get it!! "The BEACH goes on", huh, SONNY?? 907% 908Okay ... I'm going home to write the "I HATE RUBIK's CUBE HANDBOOK FOR 909DEAD CAT LOVERS" ... 910% 911OKAY!! Turn on the sound ONLY for TRYNEL CARPETING, FULLY-EQUIPPED 912R.V.'S and FLOATATION SYSTEMS!! 913% 914OMNIVERSAL AWARENESS?? Oh, YEH!! First you need 4 GALLONS of JELL-O 915and a BIG WRENCH!! ... I think you drop th'WRENCH in the JELL-O as if 916it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT ... ... or ... I ... um ... WHERE'S 917the WASHING MACHINES? 918% 919On SECOND thought, maybe I'll heat up some BAKED BEANS and watch REGIS 920PHILBIN ... It's GREAT to be ALIVE!! 921% 922On the other hand, life can be an endless parade of TRANSSEXUAL 923QUILTING BEES aboard a cruise ship to DISNEYWORLD if only we let it!! 924% 925On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without a purpose, but never without a 926POINT. 927% 928Once upon a time, four AMPHIBIOUS HOG CALLERS attacked a family of 929DEFENSELESS, SENSITIVE COIN COLLECTORS and brought DOWN their PROPERTY 930VALUES!! 931% 932Once, there was NO fun ... This was before MENU planning, FASHION 933statements or NAUTILUS equipment ... Then, in 1985 ... FUN was 934completely encoded in this tiny MICROCHIP ... It contain 14,768 vaguely 935amusing SIT-COM pilots!! We had to wait FOUR BILLION years but we 936finally got JERRY LEWIS, MTV and a large selection of creme-filled 937snack cakes! 938% 939One FISHWICH coming up!! 940% 941ONE: I will donate my entire "BABY HUEY" comic book collection to 942 the downtown PLASMA CENTER ... 943TWO: I won't START a BAND called "KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD" ... 944THREE: I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!! 945% 946... or were you driving the PONTIAC that HONKED at me in MIAMI last 947Tuesday? 948% 949Our father who art in heaven ... I sincerely pray that SOMEBODY at this 950table will PAY for my SHREDDED WHAT and ENGLISH MUFFIN ... and also 951leave a GENEROUS TIP .... 952% 953over in west Philadelphia a puppy is vomiting ... 954% 955OVER the underpass! UNDER the overpass! Around the FUTURE and BEYOND 956REPAIR!! 957% 958PARDON me, am I speaking ENGLISH? 959% 960Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE with your 961BOOTH! 962% 963PEGGY FLEMMING is stealing BASKET BALLS to feed the babies in VERMONT. 964% 965PIZZA!! 966% 967Place me on a BUFFER counter while you BELITTLE several BELLHOPS in the 968Trianon Room!! Let me one of your SUBSIDIARIES! 969% 970Please come home with me ... I have Tylenol!! 971% 972Psychoanalysis?? I thought this was a nude rap session!!! 973% 974PUNK ROCK!! DISCO DUCK!! BIRTH CONTROL!! 975% 976Quick, sing me the BUDAPEST NATIONAL ANTHEM!! 977% 978RELATIVES!! 979% 980Remember, in 2039, MOUSSE & PASTA will be available ONLY by 981prescription!! 982% 983RHAPSODY in Glue! 984% 985SANTA CLAUS comes down a FIRE ESCAPE wearing bright blue LEG WARMERS 986... He scrubs the POPE with a mild soap or detergent for 15 minutes, 987starring JANE FONDA!! 988% 989Send your questions to ``ASK ZIPPY'', Box 40474, San Francisco, CA 99094140, USA 991% 992SHHHH!! I hear SIX TATTOOED TRUCK-DRIVERS tossing ENGINE BLOCKS into 993empty OIL DRUMS ... 994% 995Should I do my BOBBIE VINTON medley? 996% 997Should I get locked in the PRINCICAL'S OFFICE today -- or have a 998VASECTOMY?? 999% 1000Should I start with the time I SWITCHED personalities with a BEATNIK 1001hair stylist or my failure to refer five TEENAGERS to a good OCULIST? 1002% 1003Sign my PETITION. 1004% 1005So this is what it feels like to be potato salad 1006% 1007So, if we convert SUPPLY-SIDE SOYABEAN FUTURES into HIGH-YIELD T-BILL 1008INDICATORS, the PRE-INFLATIONARY risks will DWINDLE to a rate of 2 1009SHOPPING SPREES per EGGPLANT!! 1010% 1011someone in DAYTON, Ohio is selling USED CARPETS to a SERBO-CROATIAN 1012% 1013Sometime in 1993 NANCY SINATRA will lead a BLOODLESS COUP on GUAM!! 1014% 1015Somewhere in DOWNTOWN BURBANK a prostitute is OVERCOOKING a LAMB 1016CHOP!! 1017% 1018Somewhere in suburban Honolulu, an unemployed bellhop is whipping up a 1019batch of illegal psilocybin chop suey!! 1020% 1021Somewhere in Tenafly, New Jersey, a chiropractor is viewing "Leave it 1022to Beaver"! 1023% 1024Spreading peanut butter reminds me of opera!! I wonder why? 1025% 1026TAILFINS!! ... click ... 1027% 1028 Talking Pinhead Blues: 1029Oh, I LOST my ``HELLO KITTY'' DOLL and I get BAD reception on channel 1030 TWENTY-SIX!! 1031 1032Th'HOSTESS FACTORY is closin' down and I just heard ZASU PITTS has been 1033 DEAD for YEARS.. (sniff) 1034 1035My PLATFORM SHOE collection was CHEWED up by th' dog, ALEXANDER HAIG 1036 won't let me take a SHOWER 'til Easter ... (snurf) 1037 1038So I went to the kitchen, but WALNUT PANELING whup me upside mah HAID!! 1039 (on no, no, no.. Heh, heh) 1040% 1041TAPPING? You POLITICIANS! Don't you realize that the END of the "Wash 1042Cycle" is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?! 1043% 1044Tex SEX! The HOME of WHEELS! The dripping of COFFEE!! Take me to 1045Minnesota but don't EMBARRASS me!! 1046% 1047Th' MIND is the Pizza Palace of th' SOUL 1048% 1049Thank god!! ... It's HENNY YOUNGMAN!! 1050% 1051The appreciation of the average visual graphisticator alone is worth 1052the whole suaveness and decadence which abounds!! 1053% 1054The entire CHINESE WOMEN'S VOLLEYBALL TEAM all share ONE personality -- 1055and have since BIRTH!! 1056% 1057The fact that 47 PEOPLE are yelling and sweat is cascading down my 1058SPINAL COLUMN is fairly enjoyable!! 1059% 1060The FALAFEL SANDWICH lands on my HEAD and I become a VEGETARIAN ... 1061% 1062... the HIGHWAY is made out of LIME JELLO and my HONDA is a barbequeued 1063OYSTER! Yum! 1064% 1065The Korean War must have been fun. 1066% 1067... the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!! 1068% 1069The Osmonds! You are all Osmonds!! Throwing up on a freeway at 1070dawn!!! 1071% 1072The PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY is CRYING for an END to BURT REYNOLDS movies!! 1073% 1074The PINK SOCKS were ORIGINALLY from 1952!! But they went to MARS 1075around 1953!! 1076% 1077The SAME WAVE keeps coming in and COLLAPSING like a rayon MUU-MUU ... 1078% 1079There's a little picture of ED MCMAHON doing BAD THINGS to JOAN RIVERS 1080in a $200,000 MALIBU BEACH HOUSE!! 1081% 1082There's enough money here to buy 5000 cans of Noodle-Roni! 1083% 1084These PRESERVES should be FORCE-FED to PENTAGON OFFICIALS!! 1085% 1086They collapsed ... like nuns in the street ... they had no teen 1087appeal! 1088% 1089This ASEXUAL PIG really BOILS my BLOOD ... He's so ... so ... URGENT!! 1090% 1091This is a NO-FRILLS flight -- hold th' CANADIAN BACON!! 1092% 1093This MUST be a good party -- My RIB CAGE is being painfully pressed up 1094against someone's MARTINI!! 1095% 1096... this must be what it's like to be a COLLEGE GRADUATE!! 1097% 1098This PIZZA symbolizes my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL RECOVERY!! 1099% 1100This PORCUPINE knows his ZIPCODE ... And he has "VISA"!! 1101% 1102This TOPS OFF my partygoing experience! Someone I DON'T LIKE is 1103talking to me about a HEART-WARMING European film ... 1104% 1105Those aren't WINOS -- that's my JUGGLER, my AERIALIST, my SWORD 1106SWALLOWER, and my LATEX NOVELTY SUPPLIER!! 1107% 1108Thousands of days of civilians ... have produced a ... feeling for the 1109aesthetic modules -- 1110% 1111Today, THREE WINOS from DETROIT sold me a framed photo of TAB HUNTER 1112before his MAKEOVER! 1113% 1114Toes, knees, NIPPLES. Toes, knees, nipples, KNUCKLES ... 1115Nipples, dimples, knuckles, NICKLES, wrinkles, pimples!! 1116% 1117TONY RANDALL! Is YOUR life a PATIO of FUN?? 1118% 1119Uh-oh -- WHY am I suddenly thinking of a VENERABLE religious leader 1120frolicking on a FORT LAUDERDALE weekend? 1121% 1122Uh-oh!! I forgot to submit to COMPULSORY URINALYSIS! 1123% 1124UH-OH!! I put on "GREAT HEAD-ON TRAIN COLLISIONS of the 50's" by 1125mistake!!! 1126% 1127UH-OH!! I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE'S having a 1128NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!! Ha ha. 1129% 1130Uh-oh!! I'm having TOO MUCH FUN!! 1131% 1132UH-OH!! We're out of AUTOMOBILE PARTS and RUBBER GOODS! 1133% 1134Used staples are good with SOY SAUCE! 1135% 1136VICARIOUSLY experience some reason to LIVE!! 1137% 1138Vote for ME -- I'm well-tapered, half-cocked, ill-conceived and 1139TAX-DEFERRED! 1140% 1141Wait ... is this a FUN THING or the END of LIFE in Petticoat 1142Junction?? 1143% 1144Was my SOY LOAF left out in th'RAIN? It tastes REAL GOOD!! 1145% 1146We are now enjoying total mutual interaction in an imaginary hot 1147tub ... 1148% 1149We have DIFFERENT amounts of HAIR -- 1150% 1151We just joined the civil hair patrol! 1152% 1153We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home. 115445 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head! 1155% 1156Well, here I am in AMERICA.. I LIKE it. I HATE it. I LIKE it. I 1157HATE it. I LIKE it. I HATE it. I LIKE it. I HATE it. I LIKE ... 1158EMOTIONS are SWEEPING over me!! 1159% 1160Well, I'm a classic ANAL RETENTIVE!! And I'm looking for a way to 1161VICARIOUSLY experience some reason to LIVE!! 1162% 1163Well, I'm INVISIBLE AGAIN ... I might as well pay a visit to the LADIES 1164ROOM ... 1165% 1166Well, O.K. I'll compromise with my principles because of EXISTENTIAL 1167DESPAIR! 1168% 1169Were these parsnips CORRECTLY MARINATED in TACO SAUCE? 1170% 1171What a COINCIDENCE! I'm an authorized "SNOOTS OF THE STARS" dealer!! 1172% 1173What GOOD is a CARDBOARD suitcase ANYWAY? 1174% 1175What I need is a MATURE RELATIONSHIP with a FLOPPY DISK ... 1176% 1177What I want to find out is -- do parrots know much about Astro-Turf? 1178% 1179What PROGRAM are they watching? 1180% 1181What UNIVERSE is this, please?? 1182% 1183What's the MATTER Sid? ... Is your BEVERAGE unsatisfactory? 1184% 1185When I met th'POPE back in '58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP or 1186DETERGENT for 15 minutes. He seemed to enjoy it ... 1187% 1188When this load is DONE I think I'll wash it AGAIN ... 1189% 1190When you get your PH.D. will you get able to work at BURGER KING? 1191% 1192When you said "HEAVILY FORESTED" it reminded me of an overdue CLEANING 1193BILL ... Don't you SEE? O'Grogan SWALLOWED a VALUABLE COIN COLLECTION 1194and HAD to murder the ONLY MAN who KNEW!! 1195% 1196Where do your SOCKS go when you lose them in th' WASHER? 1197% 1198Where does it go when you flush? 1199% 1200Where's SANDY DUNCAN? 1201% 1202Where's th' DAFFY DUCK EXHIBIT?? 1203% 1204Where's the Coke machine? Tell me a joke!! 1205% 1206While my BRAINPAN is being refused service in BURGER KING, Jesuit 1207priests are DATING CAREER DIPLOMATS!! 1208% 1209While you're chewing, think of STEVEN SPIELBERG'S bank account ... his 1210will have the same effect as two "STARCH BLOCKERS"! 1211% 1212WHO sees a BEACH BUNNY sobbing on a SHAG RUG?! 1213% 1214WHOA!! Ken and Barbie are having TOO MUCH FUN!! It must be the 1215NEGATIVE IONS!! 1216% 1217Why are these athletic shoe salesmen following me?? 1218% 1219Why don't you ever enter and CONTESTS, Marvin?? Don't you know your 1220own ZIPCODE? 1221% 1222Why is everything made of Lycra Spandex? 1223% 1224Why is it that when you DIE, you can't take your HOME ENTERTAINMENT 1225CENTER with you?? 1226% 1227Will it improve my CASH FLOW? 1228% 1229Will the third world war keep "Bosom Buddies" off the air? 1230% 1231Will this never-ending series of PLEASURABLE EVENTS never cease? 1232% 1233With YOU, I can be MYSELF ... We don't NEED Dan Rather ... 1234% 1235World War III? No thanks! 1236% 1237World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced 1238dress code! 1239% 1240Wow! Look!! A stray meatball!! Let's interview it! 1241% 1242Xerox your lunch and file it under "sex offenders"! 1243% 1244Yes, but will I see the EASTER BUNNY in skintight leather at an IRON 1245MAIDEN concert? 1246% 1247You can't hurt me!! I have an ASSUMABLE MORTGAGE!! 1248% 1249You mean now I can SHOOT YOU in the back and further BLUR th' 1250distinction between FANTASY and REALITY? 1251% 1252You mean you don't want to watch WRESTLING from ATLANTA? 1253% 1254YOU PICKED KARL MALDEN'S NOSE!! 1255% 1256You should all JUMP UP AND DOWN for TWO HOURS while I decide on a NEW 1257CAREER!! 1258% 1259You were s'posed to laugh! 1260% 1261YOU!! Give me the CUTEST, PINKEST, most charming little VICTORIAN 1262DOLLHOUSE you can find!! An make it SNAPPY!! 1263% 1264Your CHEEKS sit like twin NECTARINES above a MOUTH that knows no BOUNDS -- 1265% 1266Youth of today! Join me in a mass rally for traditional mental 1267attitudes! 1268% 1269Yow! 1270% 1271Yow! Am I having fun yet? 1272% 1273Yow! Am I in Milwaukee? 1274% 1275Yow! And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights! 1276% 1277Yow! Are we laid back yet? 1278% 1279Yow! Are we wet yet? 1280% 1281Yow! Are you the self-frying president? 1282% 1283Yow! Did something bad happen or am I in a drive-in movie?? 1284% 1285Yow! I just went below the poverty line! 1286% 1287Yow! I threw up on my window! 1288% 1289Yow! I want my nose in lights! 1290% 1291Yow! I want to mail a bronzed artichoke to Nicaragua! 1292% 1293Yow! I'm having a quadrophonic sensation of two winos alone in a steel 1294mill! 1295% 1296Yow! I'm imagining a surfer van filled with soy sauce! 1297% 1298Yow! Is my fallout shelter termite proof? 1299% 1300Yow! Is this sexual intercourse yet?? Is it, huh, is it?? 1301% 1302Yow! It's a hole all the way to downtown Burbank! 1303% 1304Yow! It's some people inside the wall! This is better than mopping! 1305% 1306Yow! Maybe I should have asked for my Neutron Bomb in PAISLEY -- 1307% 1308Yow! Now I get to think about all the BAD THINGS I did to a BOWLING 1309BALL when I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL! 1310% 1311Yow! Now we can become alcoholics! 1312% 1313Yow! Those people look exactly like Donnie and Marie Osmond!! 1314% 1315Yow! We're going to a new disco! 1316% 1317YOW!! Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL! 1318% 1319YOW!! I'm in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!! 1320% 1321YOW!! Now I understand advanced MICROBIOLOGY and th' new TAX REFORM 1322laws!! 1323% 1324YOW!! The land of the rising SONY!! 1325% 1326YOW!! Up ahead! It's a DONUT HUT!! 1327% 1328YOW!! What should the entire human race DO?? Consume a fifth of 1329CHIVAS REGAL, ski NUDE down MT. EVEREST, and have a wild SEX WEEKEND! 1330% 1331YOW!!! I am having fun!!! 1332% 1333Zippy's brain cells are straining to bridge synapses ... 1334