xref: /freebsd-11.0-release/usr.bin/fortune/datfiles/murphy-o

%%$FreeBSD: head/games/fortune/datfiles/murphy-o 112410 2003-03-19 17:50:59Z eivind $
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
%
When you're up to your nose in shit,
be sure to keep your mouth shut.
%
One's life tends to be like a beaver's,
one dam thing after another.
%
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
%
Old Scottish prayer:  O Lord, grant that we may always be
right, for thou knowest we will never change our minds.
%
All probabilities are 50%: either a thing will
happen or it won't.

This is especially true when dealing with women.

Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.
%
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night - then on
Sunday pray for crop failure.
%
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male
healthy and wealthy and dead.
%
Pity the poor egg;
It only gets laid once in its life.
%
It's always the wrong time of the month.