gerrold.limerick revision 106711
1%% $FreeBSD: head/games/fortune/datfiles/gerrold.limerick 106711 2002-11-09 22:22:52Z dcs $ 2%% From The War Against The Chtorr, 3%% Copyright David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all rights reserved, 4%% used with permission of the author. 5%% 6%%� This is the copyright line. 7%%Eighty-nine is the year we assign. 8%% These verses are caroled 9%% by one David Gerrold. 10%%All rights are reserved. This is mine. * 11%% 12A limerick of classic proportion 13should have meter and rhyme and a portion 14 of humor quite lewd, 15 and a frightfully crude, 16impossible sexual contortion. 17 18From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 19rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 20% 21A limerick is best when it's lewd, 22gross, titillating and crude -- 23 but this one is clean, 24 unless you are seen 25reading it aloud in the nude. 26 27From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 28rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 29% 30I wanted to print here a medley 31of limericks so gross they were deadly, 32 but when the typesetter tried 33 to set them, he died; 34(not to mention my editor, Smedly.) 35 36From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 37rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 38% 39I have written some limericks quite fateful, 40malicious and vicious and hateful; 41 but I've torn up the jokes 42 that will sicken most folks, 43and humanity ought to be grateful. 44 45From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 46rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 47% 48There was a young lady named Susie, 49Who everyone thought was a floozy. 50 She liked boy scout troops 51 and Shriners, in groups; 52"What the hell?" She replied. "I'm not choosy." 53 54From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 55rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 56% 57A fellow who lived in West Perkin 58was always a-jerkin' his gherkin. 59 Said he, "It's not fickle 60 to play with my pickle. 61At least my gherkin's a workin'." 62 63From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 64rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 65% 66A proctologist name of McGee 67once bent over double to see 68 an eyeball of glass 69 he had shoved up his ass, 70"--- so I can see one that looks back at me." 71 72From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 73rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 74% 75Bart has a singular penis 76for his wife who is built like a Venus. 77 He awoke with a fright 78 last Saturday night: 79"Hey! Something is coming between us!" 80 81From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 82rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 83% 84A lady who lives in New Delhi 85has habits disgusting and smelhi. 86 She likes to eat feces 87 of various species. 88(The recipe is tattooed or her belhi.) 89 90From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 91rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 92% 93A daisy chain isn't a riddle. 94just some folks who are happy to fiddle, 95 by twos and by threes, 96 on their backs or their knees, 97and it's fun getting caught in the middle! 98 99From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 100rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 101% 102A lad with a marvelous bend 103has no need of a lover or friend. 104 What he does to himself 105 would fill up a shelf, 106but alas, he has come to his end. 107 108From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 109rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 110% 111There was an old witch, name of Jessie 112whose crotch was all smelly and messie. 113 She enjoyed a good squirm 114 with an alien worm 115-- and got stains all over her dressie! 116 117From The War Against The Chtorr, (c) David Gerrold, 1984-2000, all 118rights reserved, used with permission of the author. 119