| fortunes (49217) | fortunes (49464) |
|---|---|
| 1!07/11 PDP a ni deppart m'I !pleH 2% 3(1) Alexander the Great was a great general. 4(2) Great generals are forewarned. 5(3) Forewarned is forearmed. 6(4) Four is an even number. 7(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. 8(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity. --- 2143 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 2152that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation 2153straightened out for a crowbar. 2154 -- O. W. Holmes 2155% 2156Boston, n.: 2157 Ludwig van Beethoven being jeered by 50,000 sports fans for 2158finishing second in the Irish jig competition. 2159% | 1!07/11 PDP a ni deppart m'I !pleH 2% 3(1) Alexander the Great was a great general. 4(2) Great generals are forewarned. 5(3) Forewarned is forearmed. 6(4) Four is an even number. 7(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. 8(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity. --- 2143 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 2152that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation 2153straightened out for a crowbar. 2154 -- O. W. Holmes 2155% 2156Boston, n.: 2157 Ludwig van Beethoven being jeered by 50,000 sports fans for 2158finishing second in the Irish jig competition. 2159% |
| 2160"Boy, life takes a long time to live | 2160Boy, life takes a long time to live |
| 2161 -- Steven Wright 2162% 2163Boy, n.: 2164 A noise with dirt on it. 2165% 2166Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least 2167when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years. 2168 -- James Thurber --- 4385 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 6554If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake 6555him up. 6556% 6557If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country. 6558% 6559If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have 6560dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to 6561maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it | 2161 -- Steven Wright 2162% 2163Boy, n.: 2164 A noise with dirt on it. 2165% 2166Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least 2167when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years. 2168 -- James Thurber --- 4385 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 6554If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake 6555him up. 6556% 6557If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country. 6558% 6559If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have 6560dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to 6561maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it |
| 6562must drop. The law of gravity supercedes the law of golf. | 6562must drop. The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf. |
| 6563 -- Donald A. Metz 6564% 6565"If a team is in a positive frame of mind, it will have a good 6566attitude. If it has a good attitude, it will make a commitment to 6567playing the game right. If it plays the game right, it will win -- 6568unless, of course, it doesn't have enough talent to win, and no manager 6569can make goose-liver pate out of goose feathers, so why worry?" 6570 -- Sparky Anderson --- 1961 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 8532 -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" 8533% 8534Magnocartic, adj.: 8535 Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping 8536carts. 8537 -- Sniglets, "Rich Hall & Friends" 8538% 8539Magpie, n.: | 6563 -- Donald A. Metz 6564% 6565"If a team is in a positive frame of mind, it will have a good 6566attitude. If it has a good attitude, it will make a commitment to 6567playing the game right. If it plays the game right, it will win -- 6568unless, of course, it doesn't have enough talent to win, and no manager 6569can make goose-liver pate out of goose feathers, so why worry?" 6570 -- Sparky Anderson --- 1961 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 8532 -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" 8533% 8534Magnocartic, adj.: 8535 Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping 8536carts. 8537 -- Sniglets, "Rich Hall & Friends" 8538% 8539Magpie, n.: |
| 8540 A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it | 8540 A bird whose thievish disposition suggested to someone that it |
| 8541might be taught to talk. 8542 -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" 8543% 8544Maier's Law: 8545 If the facts don't conform to the theory, they must be disposed 8546 of. 8547 8548Corollaries: --- 61 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 8610 -- Samuel Butler (1835-1902) 8611% 8612Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it 8613is an enemy. 8614 -- Albert Einstein 8615% 8616Man, n.: 8617 An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks | 8541might be taught to talk. 8542 -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" 8543% 8544Maier's Law: 8545 If the facts don't conform to the theory, they must be disposed 8546 of. 8547 8548Corollaries: --- 61 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 8610 -- Samuel Butler (1835-1902) 8611% 8612Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it 8613is an enemy. 8614 -- Albert Einstein 8615% 8616Man, n.: 8617 An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks |
| 8618e is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His hief 8619occupation is extermination of other animals and his own pecies, which, 8620however, multiplies with such insistent apidity as to infest the whole | 8618he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief 8619occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, 8620however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole |
| 8621habitable earth and Canada. 8622 -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" 8623% 8624Mandrell: "You know what I think?" 8625Doctor: "Ah, ah that's a catch question. With a brain your size you 8626 don't think, right?" 8627 -- Dr. Who 8628% --- 2701 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 11330Self Test for Paranoia: 11331 You know you have it when you can't think of anything that's 11332your own fault. 11333% 11334Seminars, n.: 11335 From "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion. 11336% 11337Sen. Danforth: "There is nothing on the face of the album which would | 8621habitable earth and Canada. 8622 -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" 8623% 8624Mandrell: "You know what I think?" 8625Doctor: "Ah, ah that's a catch question. With a brain your size you 8626 don't think, right?" 8627 -- Dr. Who 8628% --- 2701 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 11330Self Test for Paranoia: 11331 You know you have it when you can't think of anything that's 11332your own fault. 11333% 11334Seminars, n.: 11335 From "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion. 11336% 11337Sen. Danforth: "There is nothing on the face of the album which would |
| 11338 notify you if the record has pornographics material or | 11338 notify you if the record has pornographic material or |
| 11339 material glorifying violence?" 11340Tipper Gore: "No, there is nothing that would suggest that to me." 11341Frank Zappa: "I would say that a buzz saw blade between the guy's 11342 legs on the album cover is good indication that it's 11343 not for little Johnny." 11344 11345 -- The Senate Commerce Committee hearing on rock 11346 lyrics, from The Village Voice, 6 Oct 1985 --- 2087 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 13434 13435The First Law: You can't get anything without working for it. 13436The Second Law: The most you can accomplish by working is to break 13437 even. 13438The Third Law: You can only break even at absolute zero. 13439% 13440 The Three Major Kind of Tools 13441 | 11339 material glorifying violence?" 11340Tipper Gore: "No, there is nothing that would suggest that to me." 11341Frank Zappa: "I would say that a buzz saw blade between the guy's 11342 legs on the album cover is good indication that it's 11343 not for little Johnny." 11344 11345 -- The Senate Commerce Committee hearing on rock 11346 lyrics, from The Village Voice, 6 Oct 1985 --- 2087 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 13434 13435The First Law: You can't get anything without working for it. 13436The Second Law: The most you can accomplish by working is to break 13437 even. 13438The Third Law: You can only break even at absolute zero. 13439% 13440 The Three Major Kind of Tools 13441 |
| 13442* Tools for hittings things to make them loose or to tighten them up or | 13442* Tools for hitting things to make them loose or to tighten them up or |
| 13443 jar their many complex, sophisticated electrical parts in such a 13444 manner that they function perfectly. (These are your hammers, maces, 13445 bludgeons, and truncheons.) 13446 13447* Tools that, if dropped properly, can penetrate your foot. (Awls) 13448 13449* Tools that nobody should ever use because the potential danger is far 13450 greater than the value of any project that could possibly result. --- 1648 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 15099What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I 15100definitely overpaid for my carpet. 15101 -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers" 15102% 15103What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's 15104worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? 15105 -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers" 15106% | 13443 jar their many complex, sophisticated electrical parts in such a 13444 manner that they function perfectly. (These are your hammers, maces, 13445 bludgeons, and truncheons.) 13446 13447* Tools that, if dropped properly, can penetrate your foot. (Awls) 13448 13449* Tools that nobody should ever use because the potential danger is far 13450 greater than the value of any project that could possibly result. --- 1648 unchanged lines hidden (view full) --- 15099What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I 15100definitely overpaid for my carpet. 15101 -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers" 15102% 15103What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's 15104worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? 15105 -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers" 15106% |
| 15107What is a magician but a practising theorist? | 15107What is a magician but a practicing theorist? |
| 15108 -- Obi-Wan Kenobi 15109% 15110What is mind? No matter. 15111What is matter? Never mind. 15112 -- Thomas Hewitt Key, 1799-1875 15113% 15114What is the difference between a Turing machine and the modern 15115computer? It's the same as that between Hillary's ascent of Everest --- 1182 unchanged lines hidden --- | 15108 -- Obi-Wan Kenobi 15109% 15110What is mind? No matter. 15111What is matter? Never mind. 15112 -- Thomas Hewitt Key, 1799-1875 15113% 15114What is the difference between a Turing machine and the modern 15115computer? It's the same as that between Hillary's ascent of Everest --- 1182 unchanged lines hidden --- |